Unsolicited advice. We’ve all been there. You mention a tiny detail about your life, and suddenly everyone around you morphs into an expert. Whether it’s parenting, career choices, relationships, or even how you load the dishwasher, your family and friends often have plenty to say. Here’s the kicker, though—not all of it is helpful, some of it is downright intrusive, and at the end of the day, it can leave you feeling frustrated, undermined, and, honestly? Super annoyed.

You don’t have to grin and bear it or abandon all your relationships entirely. It’s possible to manage unsolicited advice like a pro while staying true to yourself. Here's how:

1. Recognize the Intention Behind the Advice (Even If It Drives You Up the Wall)

Here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud—not all advice is coming from a place of actual wisdom or experience. Sometimes it’s just people projecting their own insecurities or trying to feel important by giving you “answers” you didn’t ask for.

But, before you bring out the fire-breathing dragon (we’ll get to firing back later), ask yourself why this person is offering their two cents. Is it:

  • Valid (but poorly delivered)?
  • A sincere attempt to help?
  • Completely unwelcome meddling disguised as “care”?
  • Overstepping boundaries just for the fun of it?

When it’s coming from a place of love, recognizing their intentions can help soften your reaction. However, when it’s someone blatantly overstepping, call it what it is: an intrusion into your business.

Acknowledging their motivation helps you shift from gut reaction to strategic response. Speaking of which…

2. Set Boundaries Like Your Sanity Depends on It (Because It Does)

You are allowed to say, “No, thanks,” or, “I’ve got this.” Repeat after me. YOU. ARE. ALLOWED.

Setting boundaries doesn’t make you rude or ungrateful; it makes you someone who values their own mental energy. If a friend or family member decides they’re entitled to an opinion on how you’re living your life, here’s how to shut that down FAST:

  • Be direct but polite: “I appreciate your concern, but this is a decision we’ve already thought through.”
  • Blame someone else if it helps soften the blow: “Our doctor already recommended this approach, so we feel confident sticking to it.”
  • Redirect the conversation: “Thanks for sharing! How’s work going for you lately?”

These strategies keep things clear and minimize blowback. Some people may push past your first attempt to enforce boundaries. If that happens, move to DEFCON 2 (a firm, no-nonsense response). You’re not responsible for other people’s discomfort when you’re safeguarding your peace.

Pro tip? Boundaries are like muscles. The more you work them, the stronger they get. Start small with the serial offenders in your life to build confidence.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Ignore, Filter, or Laugh Off the Nonsense

Not every piece of advice deserves your time or energy. Sometimes staying sane means letting advice roll off your back like water off a duck. Here’s how to deal in situations where people just keep talking, even though you tuned out five minutes ago:

  • Smile and nod: Not every comment requires engagement. Smiling (without saying anything) often sends the message that you’re done taking input.
  • Use neutral responses: Keep cards like, “That’s an interesting perspective,” or, “I’ll think about that,” in your back pocket. These phrases politely close the discussion without promising submission.
  • Find the humor in it: Aunt Susan suggesting you ditch baby formula because “in her day, we just gave babies cow’s milk”? Laugh internally. Some advice is so ridiculous it doesn’t deserve anything other than comic relief.

The key is conserving energy for what matters rather than engaging in debates that no one wins.

4. Learn to Say No (Without Turning the BBQ into a Family Feud)

Sometimes, you need to say a flat-out no and stick by it. And guess what? That’s okay. Your life decisions are yours to make. But how you deliver that “no” determines whether it turns into a world war or just a slightly uncomfortable moment.

Examples:

  • Scenario: Your friend insists you’re wasting potential by not using your degree.
    • Possible response: “I appreciate your concern, but I’m comfortable with the path I’ve chosen. This works best for me right now.”
  • Scenario: A relative won’t stop pushing parenting advice.
    • Possible response: “I know you’re trying to help, but parenting looks different for everyone. We’re handling things in a way that feels right for us.”

Keep your tone calm, firm, and non-apologetic. If they’re upset, remember that’s their problem, not yours. Your boundaries are valid even when they don’t like them.

5. Respond Firmly to Oversteppers (When Graceful Isn’t Cutting It)

For those special folks who blatantly ignore your boundaries (ahem, overbearing parents, know-it-all siblings, condescending friends), you may need to step things up and get a little firmer.

Tips for handling persistent oversteppers:

  • Be crystal clear: Leave no wiggle room. “I’m not looking for advice on this topic, and I’d appreciate it if you could respect that.”
  • Call it out: If someone keeps pushing, address it directly. “I notice you bring this up a lot even though I’ve said we’ve made up our minds. Can we please move on?”
  • Refuse to engage: If all else fails, disengage. “I’d prefer not to discuss that.” Then change the subject.

Don’t feel guilty about enforcing strong boundaries when someone doesn’t respect you. At the end of the day, it’s your life.

6. Find Your People and Lean on Them

One of the best ways to combat outside noise is by surrounding yourself with people who genuinely support you. Whether it’s friends, mentors, a therapist, or a partner, having a strong support system ensures you’re less influenced by unnecessary chatter.

How to do this:

  • Confide in trusted people: Share your frustrations with friends who can empathize and offer balanced perspective.
  • Seek expert advice: If you need guidance, bypass Aunt Joan’s decade-old parenting theories and talk to a professional.
  • Stick to a team mentality: When everyone’s chiming in on your marriage or parenting decisions, remember your inner circle comes first. You and your partner are the decision-makers.

Your people will remind you whose advice actually matters and empower you to tune out the rest.

7. Know When to Walk Away

Here’s the hard truth—not everyone in your life needs a front-row seat. If someone repeatedly offers unsolicited (and often unkind) advice despite your boundaries, it may be worth reevaluating that relationship.

Some telltale signs to step back:

  • They don’t respect your boundaries, no matter how many times you’ve explained them.
  • Their advice leans on criticism rather than constructive help.
  • You leave interactions feeling drained, overwhelmed, or disrespected.

It doesn’t make you a bad person to limit interactions with someone who constantly violates your peace. You’re allowed to prioritize your well-being above someone else’s unfiltered opinions.